What is a 5150? Why do people automatically assume I am "crazy" just because I am ill?? I find it both amusing
and a bit disheartening that the general public has no sensitivity towards mental illness, nor are they interested in learning
more about this silent epidemic. If you met me on the street you would never know I was sick! I blend in fairly
well with the rest of the world, however I have to frequently take breaks from you people!! I have always been fairly
creative, smart, and while not the most gregarious of people, have interacted with people on a normal level. I have
had panic attacks since I was twelve, however, I was only diagnosed with Schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder when I turned
twenty five! I couldn't believe it! I was damn independent, had an education, and could foresee a semi-bright
future. I became really depressed out of nowhere when I turned twenty five. I had been depressed before, but this
was the blackest despair I could ever imagine. I avoided everyone, and everything because my morose behavior would have
sent off warning bells to my family or friends. Then while crying my eyes out, I glimpsed something moving in my peripheral
vision. My eyes darted anxiously to the window, and a pale, version of death stared back at me. The silence in
my soul, was also broken as voices began talking to me out of nowhere! Keep in mind I had never done mind altering drugs,
because often it sounds like an acid trip might be similar to a psychotic episode (sounds scary, but really the name is misleading!).
At this point in time, I freaked out! I was already feeling that suicide might be an actual option, and this just blew
my mind. What the hell was wrong with me?? I was scared to tell anyone, scared to death not to tell anyone, and
plain scared that my world was not the same place anymore. Talk about a fish out of water! Anyway, if you would
like to know more, please read my blog by clicking the link at the top of the page. You would be surprised how many
people you know have a mental illness, and are terrified you might judge them. Since I am so open about it, I guess
people feel more comfortable confiding in me. I cannot tell you how many times I have been approached by frightened
people. In their confessions, I almost always hear the phrase, "please do not tell anyone. I can't let BLANK know."
Of course I would never betray someone like that, but it's just plain sad that we feel the need to keep hiding from "normal"
society. Your world would be so boring without our little idiosyncracies, our strange behavior (perhaps), or even some
odd quirks here and there. Please keep your mind open and you will be amazed out how the world appears
to someone a little "different" from yourself!
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