Insane Butterfly

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This page is my personal venting zone for injustices, slights, rants, raves...whatever!  In addition to rambling, if you scroll to the bottom of the page you will find some of my favorite, fun, cool sites for you to check out!  If you feel like you absolutely must do something about my intelligence/ignorance or tell me how much you love/hate will find a link to email me on the last page.

A RECENT SITE SUBMISSION TO THE CCHR, or  "Citizens Commission on Human Rights", a pathetic Scientology site that proclaims to HELP investigate and expose psychiatric human rights abuse.  The site only helps to further stigmatize mental illness, and isolate those suffering, by proclaiming that mental illness cannot be tested for, so in essence it doesn't exist!  It's all an elaborate hoax, the site tries to convince you, yes it was created to suck the money from your wallets (Fraud!).  It even blames the deaths of Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe, and Judy Garland on psychiatry! (To name a few)  It states that mental  hospitals should be replaced with asylums, and holy shit, this is a human rights group??Are these people for real??  (You too can be a Human Rights Investigator, just order your rinky dinky kit, and you're all set to go!  Oh, and don't forget to hand out these handy little pamphlets to everyone in your community!)



So, given all of this extremely informative material I just had to write a little something to show my appreciation:
"I started out with an open mind about Scientology and its extension into the world of psychiatry.  I might actually applaud the effort of the "Citizens Commission on Human Rights", but the "abuse" you are describing (or shall I say, cleverly NOT describing) is nothing more than a cleverly disguised witch hunt.  I actually have to laugh at the effort you put in to misinforming the public, going as far as to say that psychiatry is responsible for racism!  Give me a break!  Save your breath for something that you know a little something about.  I particularly love the fact that I can be a "Human Rights Investigator" with little more than a signature at the bottom of a piece of paper.  Come on, people!  Shouldn't you require a little EDUCATION or even a little training beyond "looking professional".  Mentally ill people deserve an educated representative, or did you really think that people would be clamoring to tell your misinformed, brainwashed, troops bearing the "mark", their stories of abuse?  Assuming that the mentally ill would even welcome your help was your first mistake.  Can't you see how you belittle us, our families, our struggles and our lives?? Fighting the stigma of mental illness is a tough battle, even without the added toxicity you throw into the mix. Here's a thought, why don't you come up with a few other solutions to mental illness, besides a physical examination by an M.D. to discover any underlying physical causes!  (By the way, I was prescribed psychiatric drugs from an actual MEDICAL DOCTOR, NOT a psychiatrist)  If those tests prove NO underlying physical cause, then what?  Answer me that.  Perhaps you could put a little more effort and money into actually HELPING the mentally ill, instead of trying to prove their illnesses don't exist.  What an idea!  In the meantime, make sure you look professional because you certainly have no impressive letters after YOUR name!"
Isn't it ironic how people can sometimes be sooo into a religion.  They eat, drink, and breathe it.  Does it matter if they can prove its existence with a convenient test?  Hell no!  Isn't it much like a "pseudoscience"?  Interesting......



So I was finally getting the hatred I have for Tom Cruise out of my system (Wanna-be Psychiatrist), mainly because it seemed as if his inane opinion and overbearing attitude had the opposite effect he wanted it to have.  To my surprise, most Americans are not as stupid as I had thought (well at least less...) and rejected Cruise's reprehensible tirade about psych meds and psychiatry.  Well I should have kept the sigh of relief in check, because guess who has joined his Cruise-ade?  None other than Kirstie Alley, Kelly Preston, and John Travolta.  First of all, Kirstie should stick to what she does best, and focus on the fat in her life.  Seond of all, Kelly and John can both rot in hell, and NO I did NOT like Grease!  These three are actually kind of funny, like the three musketeers without a brain.  God forbid that any of these insensitive freaks have a mentally ill child.  Can you imagine?  "Hey, uh, Mom and Dad as you may or may not have noticed I have been sleeping a lot.  I feel really sad for no reason, and cry all the time.  What should I do?"  Mommy Preston and Daddy Travolta: "Well son, a good diet, exercise and spiritual growth are paramount.  Why don't you pray to L. Ron Hubbard and have an apple."  Holy hell!  To be cont...

Kirstie and Friends join the Cruise-ade
Keep doing leg lifts, and stop trying to think!



"President Bush said my son died in a noble cause, and I want to ask him what that noble cause is."
Cindy Sheehan


This is a really sticky topic but one I must address nonetheless.  Her name is Cindy Sheehan, and her son, Casey, was tragically murdered in a war against tyranny and terror in Iraq.  Her son is a true hero, this is not in doubt, but I have to stop and question the blind support of a woman clearly sliding down a slippery slope of inaction and paralysis in the face of peril. With our freedom comes a price.  Sacrifices must be made to exist in a democracy where justice and liberty reign free.  Protecting that freedom is a courageous and daunting task.  But it was one in which Casey Sheehan embraced. It's a shame that Casey Sheehan died, but what an honorable man he was!  It is amazing that such a true example of courage, and compassion, came in someone so young! Our beloved troops are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to spread a seed of hope and freedom to those who desperately need it. Yet instead of honoring her sons life and death, and therefore the rest of the troups, Cindy Sheehan inadvertently makes a mockery of an informed decision to serve our country.  The moral integrity of our society is slowly ripping at the seams, and there is Cindy Sheehan with a shiny, new pair of scissors in her hands.  Instead of blaming Bush, perhaps she should reflect on the characteristics in her son that made him such a strong and dedicated troup.  Her pain is clearly great, and for that I am sorry, but her solution to tyranny is to turn a blind eye.  If we were to follow her wishes and pull out of Iraq, wouldn't her sons death been made in vain?  He obviously was aware of his mission, and died to give others hope.  To abandon that hope and those who sacrificed their lives for it is unthinkable.


Tom Cruise is hands down the idiot of the moment!  Maybe he should use some of that "wisdom" he proclaims he has, and analyze the psychological reasons he is attracted to a 26 year old!  Ever heard the term "Mid Life Crisis", Tom?? 
It is blatant misinformation and blind stupidity that led this man to ever open his mouth on a subject he obviously knows NOTHING about!  Has he ever looked death in the eye and welcomed it into his heart and soul?  Death seems like a sweet deal compared to playing the hand we're dealt sometimes, at least for me it was.  (Before I started taking Paxil, that is). 
Yes, I am a user of "brain candy", as one uneducated creaton once said.  I take six different medications just to feel "normal".  I don't get high off these drugs, they are not fun, in fact the side effects are sometimes devastating.  These side effects can range from something as minor as chronic dilated pupils (huge), to something as severe as tardive dyskinesia.  This is a nasty condition characterized by involuntary, rhythmic movements of the face, jaw, mouth, and tongue, such as lip pursing, chewing movements, or protrusion of the tongue. Facial movements are sometimes accompanied by involuntary, jerky or writhing motions (choreoathetoid movements) of the trunk, arms, and legs.  Sound fun yet?  On these medications, as a direct result of side effects, I was fired from not one, but two jobs!  I was never directly accused of being on "drugs", however, one ex-employer commented on my unstable gait, and huge pupils.  It was a snide, cold way to be treated after dedicating four years of my life to a company (who shall remain nameless).  Officially, mind you I had received a raise THREE months prior, I was fired for not calling someone back.  That's right!  And it wasn't even true!    I was convicted of driving under the influence, after taking a medication called Seroquel.  This one, a nasty little twist of fate, was a complete and utter guilt-free conviction (although I have come to accept that it was justified).  I didn't even KNOW or make the choice to drive, I simply woke up and thought I was late for work.  I didn't think twice about this thought, even after I walked outside into darkness!   That's right,  I thought it was eight in the morning, never mind the moon and the stars!  As I was being led to get my blood taken, the officer joked to the phlebotomist at how "f@#$%^ up" I was.  I was deeply offended, and really saddened that I could not will my body to function as it should be.  It was like a twilight zone episode, where everything slows down and you feel like you are under water, and treading through sand, but the world itself speeds up and you can't quite grasp what the hell is going on!  Anyway, moving along, I thought we might take a trip into my pill box, shall we??


Magic Pill Box

Back to the unfortunate issue of Tom Cruise, I have been fighting the stigma of mental illness for quite a while, and just when I get two inches forward, some lame ass kicks me back to square one. Hey I take this medication, yes the side effects SUCK, but it sure beats taking a razor blade and cutting up my hands and arms because I can't feel anything inside.  If I were someone you loved, which would you choose for me?

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A lack of planning on your part, does not constitue an emergency on mine!